In the Back Seat of a Police Car
Friends of the Law Society,
If anything good is to come out of my stolen wallet, it is my first hand experience of the Malaysian Police System! First, I would like to say that Mr. Hassan, the Assistant Head of Security at HELP is an absolute angel and he will go out of his way to help you with any kind of security problem. Look out for him on the ground floor of Wisma HELP! Not that I want you to get anything stolen, or be chased by a tiger, or go haywire after overdosing on teh ice caffeine... you see. But if you do, he's prepared to handle all of that!
Hurry HURRY! Jump into the police car
- - let's take this story for a ride!
Monday: approximately 4:43pm, outside of Fig Tree Cafe, gloomy skies.
Charlaine and Archana comfort a puffy-eyed me and tell me I am to lodge my police report within 24 hours. Make my life into the next episode OK? Exhausted and tired, I half considered it, and half resolved to do it the next day. I am entirely convinced that the 92875923 hours of the scariest thunder and lightening in my LIFE was a divine message NOT to let this wallet snatcher keep me down! It was there, hidden under layers and layers of blankets and pillows, that I resolved to lodge my police report!
Tuesday: approximately 11:03 am, Ground Floor, Wisma HELP, skies? I can't tell - it's probably haze...
After LMS, I bolted down the hall and slipped into the tiniest crevice to the groan and moan reply of my fellow elevator-mates. I popped out on the ground floor and scurried over to Mr. Hassan asking him to point me in the direction of the Police! It was then that he did something I never would have expected - - he transformed into SUPERMAN! Together we flew down the stairs to LG, sliding down the banister just to see the bus driving away. Mr. Hassan used his tractor-beam vision to hold the bus in its place! Whew, superpowers come in handy!
We exited the bus at Main Block, and thanked the perplexed bus driver for the ride. Mr. Hassan led me out one of the UBER secret passageways and upon reaching the surface like a gopher, I realized the shops had turned into a massive LABRYNTH! Instead of buildings, there were nothing but tall hedges and the pervasive and intoxicating smell of fish head curry. Ahh, it gave us newfound strength to find the Police Office! Follow your nose - - the fish head curry will lead us to the Police!
Unfortunately, Mr. Hassan aka SUPERMAN, lacked a... nose, so it was up to Officer Michelle to sniff out the Station. Jogging here, and tip toeing there, I closed my eyes and imagined the glazed-over eyes of the fish swimming in the golden curry sauce. It gave me inspiration! Within 15 minutes we had found - - - THE LOCAL GATEKEEPER!
The fish smell stopped. and the tall hedges had given way to a wall of marshmallows. They weren't white, quite the contrary, they were toasted and slightly charred. DANGER DANGER, that's the sign of a perfectly done marshmallow! Crunchy on the outside and soft and gooey on the inside - this is going to be a sticky situation! I descended down the stairs slowly, hearing the sizzle of my shoes extinguishing the embers on the still burning marshmallows... I peered into the door, sniffed, then saw the Officer. With a mellifluous voice, he introduced himself as Marshall Marshmallow. Affixed on his fluffy chest was a button which I could only guess read "I'm Against Corruption!"
WHAT A RELIEF! You're against corruption? So am I! He quickly gave me a licorice stick to write a draft of my statement. After I had written the entire letter in red, Marshal Marshmallow became fickle, ate my red pen, then ordered me to write the final draft in black. All the while, M. Marshmallow was reading my passport with the childlike wonder of a storybook. What are you? Some kind of refugee? "Eh, that's just how I live my life," I replied...
"In THAT case," M. Marshmallow retorted, "I'm sending you down the Yellow Brick Road to BRICKFIELDS!" You must see the wizard, he may be able to help you get your wallet's missing contents back! *Poof* All of a sudden I was wearing sparkly red pumps, a blue and white gingham dress and my hair was in pigtails. Dorothy? Wizard of Oz? Had I overdosed on teh ice at the ground floor coffee shop?
Before I knew it, I was in the back seat of a HELP police car. They use it to take giddy A-levels and law students away when they refuse to leave Mr. Kitson's office at 5:30, among other things, of course. Mr. Hassan had found us a driver! He came prancing out in a sailor suit and insisted that we rock out to Tamil beats during our travel time. The three of us twisted enough lightbulbs to change every fixture in KL!
"So, Michelle*cough*Dorothy, do you know how to find the wizard?" asked the Sailor.
"Why, silly sailor - Follow the Yellow Brick Road!"
In the distance, I could hear the crackle of a 7-inch record player, "follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, follow FOLLOW FOLLOW FOLLOW...."
We saw winged monkeys flying overhead! We must be getting close, take it slow.... slooww... catch the MONKEY!"
*cue exciting chase music*
Our jaws dropped. Our knees shook. It was THE BRICKFIELDS POLICE CASTLE OF DOOM! Vines containing the hottest of the hot chili paddy snaked across the ground, threatening to give our feet and ankles third degree burns!
"What are we to do, Mr. Hassan and Mr. Sailor?" how can we infiltrate the Castle of Doom?
Click click click. Tap tap tap. Clink clink. GAME OVER!"
"They're playing arcade games inside! We have to time this right! When you hear that TOKYO DRIFT music, run for the entrance! It's the song that entrances police officers EVERY TIME. I've seen HMC students go WILD after hearing just the first measure!
"I wonder if you know, how to live in Tokyo..." GO GO GO!!!!!!!!
Inside the castle it was dark and smelled heavily of cigarettes and naps. The resounding clicks of my high heels on the cement floors echoed down the tunnels. "SHHHH, you're going to give us awa..."
Before he could finish his last word, Mr. Sailor disappeared into the darkness. "Oh DEARY MY, " exclaimed Michelle. "He's abandoned ship, Stilk v. Myrick style!" Then there were two....
We heard a male voice, "Yahhhh, and you know - - if Eve was Chinese, she would have eaten the snake! Ha ha ha! Ahh, I'm talking to myself again! Ahh.. aiyoh. Come back, come back!"
It sounded so familiar... that voice... Where had I heard it before? We followed it to a glowing door. Inside I saw a man, but I could only see the top of his head. He was pacing around the room. Inside there were stacks upon stacks of Hilare Barnett textbooks! Oh goodness, where was I???
"Mr. Wizard? Mr. Wizard? Can I ask you a question?" I could hear a muffled chant, "ahh... bluffology, bluffology!!!" I stepped inside...
"MR. GOH!" What are you doing here? Are you the WIZARD!?
Mr. Goh snapped his head, raised an eyebrow and said, "are you done with your assignment?"
"I'm just taking a break ;-)," I replied.
THE END.
Hi everyone,
As you can see, I like to be creative during my break time. I hope you enjoyed my fictional catharsis!
Oh, and by the way, my trip to the two police offices wasn't all that exciting so of course I added just a few extra details to spice up my story. The police officers were wearing anti-corruption buttons, which I thought was pretty cool, and indeed, at the Brickfields office, their parking lot was half filled with confiscated arcade machines!
All the year 1's, finish up your consti assignments strong!
Love the Law,
Michelle
If anything good is to come out of my stolen wallet, it is my first hand experience of the Malaysian Police System! First, I would like to say that Mr. Hassan, the Assistant Head of Security at HELP is an absolute angel and he will go out of his way to help you with any kind of security problem. Look out for him on the ground floor of Wisma HELP! Not that I want you to get anything stolen, or be chased by a tiger, or go haywire after overdosing on teh ice caffeine... you see. But if you do, he's prepared to handle all of that!
Hurry HURRY! Jump into the police car
- - let's take this story for a ride!
Monday: approximately 4:43pm, outside of Fig Tree Cafe, gloomy skies.
Charlaine and Archana comfort a puffy-eyed me and tell me I am to lodge my police report within 24 hours. Make my life into the next episode OK? Exhausted and tired, I half considered it, and half resolved to do it the next day. I am entirely convinced that the 92875923 hours of the scariest thunder and lightening in my LIFE was a divine message NOT to let this wallet snatcher keep me down! It was there, hidden under layers and layers of blankets and pillows, that I resolved to lodge my police report!
Tuesday: approximately 11:03 am, Ground Floor, Wisma HELP, skies? I can't tell - it's probably haze...
After LMS, I bolted down the hall and slipped into the tiniest crevice to the groan and moan reply of my fellow elevator-mates. I popped out on the ground floor and scurried over to Mr. Hassan asking him to point me in the direction of the Police! It was then that he did something I never would have expected - - he transformed into SUPERMAN! Together we flew down the stairs to LG, sliding down the banister just to see the bus driving away. Mr. Hassan used his tractor-beam vision to hold the bus in its place! Whew, superpowers come in handy!
We exited the bus at Main Block, and thanked the perplexed bus driver for the ride. Mr. Hassan led me out one of the UBER secret passageways and upon reaching the surface like a gopher, I realized the shops had turned into a massive LABRYNTH! Instead of buildings, there were nothing but tall hedges and the pervasive and intoxicating smell of fish head curry. Ahh, it gave us newfound strength to find the Police Office! Follow your nose - - the fish head curry will lead us to the Police!
Unfortunately, Mr. Hassan aka SUPERMAN, lacked a... nose, so it was up to Officer Michelle to sniff out the Station. Jogging here, and tip toeing there, I closed my eyes and imagined the glazed-over eyes of the fish swimming in the golden curry sauce. It gave me inspiration! Within 15 minutes we had found - - - THE LOCAL GATEKEEPER!
The fish smell stopped. and the tall hedges had given way to a wall of marshmallows. They weren't white, quite the contrary, they were toasted and slightly charred. DANGER DANGER, that's the sign of a perfectly done marshmallow! Crunchy on the outside and soft and gooey on the inside - this is going to be a sticky situation! I descended down the stairs slowly, hearing the sizzle of my shoes extinguishing the embers on the still burning marshmallows... I peered into the door, sniffed, then saw the Officer. With a mellifluous voice, he introduced himself as Marshall Marshmallow. Affixed on his fluffy chest was a button which I could only guess read "I'm Against Corruption!"
WHAT A RELIEF! You're against corruption? So am I! He quickly gave me a licorice stick to write a draft of my statement. After I had written the entire letter in red, Marshal Marshmallow became fickle, ate my red pen, then ordered me to write the final draft in black. All the while, M. Marshmallow was reading my passport with the childlike wonder of a storybook. What are you? Some kind of refugee? "Eh, that's just how I live my life," I replied...
"In THAT case," M. Marshmallow retorted, "I'm sending you down the Yellow Brick Road to BRICKFIELDS!" You must see the wizard, he may be able to help you get your wallet's missing contents back! *Poof* All of a sudden I was wearing sparkly red pumps, a blue and white gingham dress and my hair was in pigtails. Dorothy? Wizard of Oz? Had I overdosed on teh ice at the ground floor coffee shop?
Before I knew it, I was in the back seat of a HELP police car. They use it to take giddy A-levels and law students away when they refuse to leave Mr. Kitson's office at 5:30, among other things, of course. Mr. Hassan had found us a driver! He came prancing out in a sailor suit and insisted that we rock out to Tamil beats during our travel time. The three of us twisted enough lightbulbs to change every fixture in KL!
"So, Michelle*cough*Dorothy, do you know how to find the wizard?" asked the Sailor.
"Why, silly sailor - Follow the Yellow Brick Road!"
In the distance, I could hear the crackle of a 7-inch record player, "follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, follow FOLLOW FOLLOW FOLLOW...."
We saw winged monkeys flying overhead! We must be getting close, take it slow.... slooww... catch the MONKEY!"
*cue exciting chase music*
Our jaws dropped. Our knees shook. It was THE BRICKFIELDS POLICE CASTLE OF DOOM! Vines containing the hottest of the hot chili paddy snaked across the ground, threatening to give our feet and ankles third degree burns!
"What are we to do, Mr. Hassan and Mr. Sailor?" how can we infiltrate the Castle of Doom?
Click click click. Tap tap tap. Clink clink. GAME OVER!"
"They're playing arcade games inside! We have to time this right! When you hear that TOKYO DRIFT music, run for the entrance! It's the song that entrances police officers EVERY TIME. I've seen HMC students go WILD after hearing just the first measure!
"I wonder if you know, how to live in Tokyo..." GO GO GO!!!!!!!!
Inside the castle it was dark and smelled heavily of cigarettes and naps. The resounding clicks of my high heels on the cement floors echoed down the tunnels. "SHHHH, you're going to give us awa..."
Before he could finish his last word, Mr. Sailor disappeared into the darkness. "Oh DEARY MY, " exclaimed Michelle. "He's abandoned ship, Stilk v. Myrick style!" Then there were two....
We heard a male voice, "Yahhhh, and you know - - if Eve was Chinese, she would have eaten the snake! Ha ha ha! Ahh, I'm talking to myself again! Ahh.. aiyoh. Come back, come back!"
It sounded so familiar... that voice... Where had I heard it before? We followed it to a glowing door. Inside I saw a man, but I could only see the top of his head. He was pacing around the room. Inside there were stacks upon stacks of Hilare Barnett textbooks! Oh goodness, where was I???
"Mr. Wizard? Mr. Wizard? Can I ask you a question?" I could hear a muffled chant, "ahh... bluffology, bluffology!!!" I stepped inside...
"MR. GOH!" What are you doing here? Are you the WIZARD!?
Mr. Goh snapped his head, raised an eyebrow and said, "are you done with your assignment?"
"I'm just taking a break ;-)," I replied.
THE END.
Hi everyone,
As you can see, I like to be creative during my break time. I hope you enjoyed my fictional catharsis!
Oh, and by the way, my trip to the two police offices wasn't all that exciting so of course I added just a few extra details to spice up my story. The police officers were wearing anti-corruption buttons, which I thought was pretty cool, and indeed, at the Brickfields office, their parking lot was half filled with confiscated arcade machines!
All the year 1's, finish up your consti assignments strong!
Love the Law,
Michelle
posted by The President | 1:03 AM
1 Comments:
You give rambling such a rare finesse. That was a good read.
Honestly.
see you around.
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